I’ve been sitting here staring at a blank white screen for about an hour trying to figure out how I’m going to word this post so I don’t end up sounding like a bitter woman out to damn every dude I’ve ever encountered. My conclusion, fuck it. I don’t care if I sound like a bitter woman. If after you read this post you don’t think I have some sort of justification for what I’m about to write then you’re just another dick to add to my ever-growing bag of giant dicks. Don’t get it twisted, Bruh, you don’t have a giant dick. It’s a figure of speech.

I seriously can’t win with this dating shit. I’ve tried going out with the attractive ones – Fail. I’ve tried going out with the ones that aren’t super cute, but they make me laugh – Fail. I’ve even tried going out with the ones that aren’t cute at all, but they seem to have their shit together – Fail. At some point you have to sit there and wonder, “Maybe it’s this chick? Maybe she’s doing something to send them running?” I’ve asked myself that many times and when I look back at all of my encounters since I’ve moved here I come to one conclusion, no one wants to commit to just one person anymore. In my experiences guys are only wanting to bang out, and they don’t even want to put the effort of a first date in anymore. It’s always a, “So we’ve been texting for two days now, and we haven’t met in person yet, but do you wanna fuck?,” situation. Because people don’t want to commit to just one person anymore that seems to open the flood gates for guys to just be straight up bitches about the situation and their intentions.

Here are how some of my dates have gone over the past 7 months (these are just a handful that REALLY stick out in my mind):

1. Guy that isn’t super cute, but makes me laugh: Ok, so this guy is 29 years old (I’m 34) and we start hanging out frequently, every other day to every two days. I don’t say ANYTHING about a relationship. I’m just going with the flow and having a nice time getting to know him. Next thing I know we’re having the relationship talk – he brought it up – and things start to get weird. He tells me that he is still trying to figure out if he can date me because of our age difference……5 1/2 years, homie….5 1/2 fucking years. He then says to me, “The only way I would date a 34-year-old is if she was a 7.5-10 out of 10 (on the looks scale), but that’s not a dig at you.” Hold up….excuse the fuck out of me?!? This dude is short, maybe 5’8″ish, balding, somewhat portly, doesn’t have a lot of money and THE SEX WAS NOT GOOD. I would like to point out that I obviously don’t care about all of that (except the sex part) because he can make me laugh and to me that’s way more important than being hot or having money, but who the fuck do you think you are?!? Needless to say we no longer talk.
2. Guy that isn’t cute at all, but seems to have his shit together: This dude reached out to me on Instagram. Not a dating app, so that’s a little bit of a plus. I didn’t think he was cute, but he held a decent convo and seemed like he understood what being an adult meant (he’s 36). I tell this guy right out of the gate that I’m not going to have sex with him on the first date, and I 100% meant it. So we’re hanging out and he’s makin’ moves and I keep reminding him that I’m not going to sleep with him, and I don’t. After that we text for a few days and he keeps bringing the convo back to sex. I let him know yet again that I would like to go on a couple of dates before I think about putting out. His response to me, “I only reached out to you because you look like an easy fuck. If you don’t want guys to try to bang you on the first date then maybe you shouldn’t project the image that you’re a whore on social media.” A week after that comment he sent me a text asking if I wanted to hang out. When I reminded him of our last convo he said, “It’s a new week! You should leave that stuff in the past.” Hahahaha, yeah, go fuck yourself.
3. Guys that were really attractive:
   1. I found out one was a convicted terrorist. That’s pretty cool.
   2. One was in town visiting from Austin, TX. He changed his return flight so he could stay an extra day and “get to know me.” When I told him I wasn’t going to sleep with him he changed his flight back to the original time.
   3. One straight up said, “I have no intentions of dating anyone. I really just want to fuck you.” I mean, at least the dude was honest from the jump. #respect
   4. SEVERAL others have given me some bullshit excuse as to why they aren’t in a position to date and just want physical, surface level relationships.
   5. SEVERAL more were raised with a silver spoon in their mouths and turn into pieces of shit when a female tells them “no.”

Is this something that lots of chicks deal with?? I’m sure that my inappropriate sense of humor and willingness to discuss most topics puts up some sort of freak flag and I’m spotted from a mile away. I don’t put rules on the sexual part of dating. If you’re feeling it then go for it, but just because I’m a sexually confident person it doesn’t mean that all I’m down to do is let you stick your under-performing ween in my puss, or elsewhere. Me being open to liberal conversation and experiences can’t be a fucking excuse. Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear to get what you want and then when push comes to shove you bail out like a little bitch. I’m sure I have the capacity to be annoying as hell, and that has been the result of some of my losses, but that doesn’t account for even 1/4 of the disasters. Seems like I’m on a fucking unicorn hunt and said unicorn is made up of this: someone I’m attracted to, someone who’s emotionally available and someone who treats me like a human being – not just a beautiful vagina. I really don’t think I’m asking too much here. And don’t give me that bullshit of, “There are good guys out there. You just don’t want them because they’re nice. You go for the assholes.” Yeah, I’ve met nice guys before, but I need to be attracted to them. You’re a liar if you say that looks don’t matter in some capacity. I mean, looks are relative…..if you can make me laugh you automatically become more attractive to me. What I think is attractive someone else might not, but it has to be there in some form or another.

Not that I need to explain myself, but I’m really not a bitter person. I’m not so scarred or heartbroken that I think every guy is a piece of shit. Only one person had the power to scar me or break my heart and that person is now one of my best friends. I don’t let relationships and bad experiences take me down. I’ve gone through way too much for some POS dude to break me. I’m also for sure not putting all guys in one category; I know there are some good ones out there, I just have yet to meet them. I’m frustrated and a little beaten down (figuratively), conditioned to think someone is going to disappoint me or just try to fuck me on the first meeting, but not bitter. Believe me or not, that’s up to you.

I’ve taken myself off of the dating market, possibly for good, but I’m hopeful that the rest of you single ladies out there will find someone who actually wants to invest the time in getting to know you, regardless of whether you have sex on the 1st date or 10th date. I’m hopeful you meet someone that sees you as more than just holes to fill.

❤

Linds (The Man Eater)