When did so many guys become emotionally handicapped?? Not just emotionally unavailable, but emotionally fucking handicapped. I’ve been running through all of the dudes I’ve met here thus far, trying to find a common denominator as to why they were all disappointments…..common denominator = they are all emotionally/mentally fucked up. I thought for the longest time that something I was doing was a contributing factor to why things always ended up falling apart, but it turns out I’m pretty fucking legit. Am I perfect? No, not at all. Do I have the ability to be annoying? Yes, yes I do. Am I capable of having a perfectly healthy relationship that doesn’t go down in flames? Yes, 100%. Am I self-sabotaging? Absolutely not. It’s you, not me. No, really….it’s totally you.
Listen, I get it, you had a fucked up childhood, or you were teased in high school, or someone broke your heart, etc., but I don’t give a shit. Seriously, I don’t. We all go through difficult times, some more than others. We all have “issues” that we have to face. However, that absolutely does not give you an excuse to be a fuckhole. I have met so many guys that screw things up because they let their baggage take control of the situation. Before the dudes start comin’ at me with, “chicks do the same thing,” let me say that I completely agree. This is from my point of view, a chick that dates guys, so my focus isn’t on how other girls handle relationships. It’s about how I handle relationships and how others handle relationships with me.
It seems as though there are more and more guys out there that are mentally fucked in some way. It wouldn’t be such a problem if they actually dealt with their issues, like adults, instead of projecting bullshit on girls they date and turning a relationship into a massive mind fuck. When someone I’m talking to romantically says to me, “I had kind of a messed up childhood. I don’t like talking about it. I’ll actually probably never talk about it,” that typically raises some red flags. I’m not asking you to cry on my shoulder, I’m just asking you to be able to process and deal with difficult shit. We ALL have baggage. I have baggage; I just don’t let said baggage determine whether or not I’m happy. I don’t let it determine whether or not I treat someone poorly. I don’t let it determine the outcome of my relationships.
What I’m about to say next is directed at both men and women……Get your shit together. I understand that not everyone can have a strong, resilient personality. I understand that we all process things differently. I understand that sometimes mental illnesses can inhibit one’s ability to deal with difficult issues in a healthy manner and move on. I also understand that far too many of you are filled with bullshit excuses. I have been knocked down MANY times and have been through some traumatizing experiences in my life, but I found it in myself to get back up and deal with what was in front of me. I didn’t always do it by myself, family and therapy helped, but I initiated the process from within. I made the decision to reach out and ask for help. You aren’t me, but EVERYONE has the ability to figure out how to deal with their baggage, one way or another, whatever that baggage might be.
We all have a responsibility to mentally take care of ourselves and we all have a responsibility to treat others the way we would like to be treated. Do whatever it is that you need to do to find that inner peace – keep a journal, go to a counselor, take medication, etc. It’s not ok to use the reason that your wife left you, or you have a kid that you didn’t want because you had no say in the situation or that you had a rough childhood as a reason to project your emotional insecurities on other people and tear them down with your self-destructive ways. Buck the fuck up and face it like an adult. Don’t be a selfish piece of shit that does nothing but bitch about how hard life is and how nothing can make you happy, other than food, booze and video games (the last dude fer realz said that to me). Tuck your vagina back into your big boy panties and be a fucking man. I don’t want to feel like I’m dating a little, whiny child. As Cardi B says, “Call your mama phone. Let her know that she raised a bitch.” I’m hood like that.
I’m not trying to be cold or insensitive. I’m just tired of people (guys in particular) projecting their fucking insecurities and problems on others and expecting everyone to just understand that they’re a dick because they’ve had difficult past experiences. Or of using their emotional handicap as an excuse to be a fucking toolbag and willingly deliver mind fucks to every chick they encounter. While I can sympathize/empathize with those that are faced with terrible life experiences, I absolutely can’t feel sorry for the person who doesn’t handle their shit, pushes it onto someone else’s shoulders and/or has an excuse for everything. Karma is real, so my suggestion is to not enter a relationship knowing you’re going to be a fuck face. If you keep treating people like they’re disposable and have zero regard for their well-being then life is going to get a whole lot uglier for you, and soon. Lemme know how that all goes for you, bro.
The whole, “you’re jaded,” thing is old, so come at me with something new. Voicing frustrations doesn’t mean that you’re jaded. It means that you’re exhausted from dealing with selfish, emotionally handicapped dudes. I will never not be a strong, independent woman. I will never settle for someone that makes me feel like I’m lesser than. I will never stop hoping that I meet an emotionally stable dude who is comfortable with who he is and where his life has taken him regardless of what or who is in his life. I’m well aware I could be single for a very long time. It’s totally worth it, though.
I’m not asking people to be happy 24/7. That’s for sure not a thing. I’m just asking people to be aware of who they are and how their actions are affecting those around them. I’m asking people to be responsible and not hurt others just because they can. Treat people the way you would expect to be treated….especially when you’re trying to start a relationship, friendly or romantic, with someone. I know that’s a lot to ask most, because let’s be honest, it’s a lot easier to come up with excuses to fuck others over than it is to really look at who you are and try to find peace within the chaos. Dissecting my issues and working to find some sort of peace within my inner chaos is one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. Well, that and getting a breast reduction.
Bottom line is, don’t be a pussy and tear people down because you hate yourself or your current life situation. Figure it the fuck out and be a better person. We ALL have the capacity to do just that. It won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it.