I guess this is the part where I explain why I chose the title I did for my new blog. I’m a 33 year old single chick living in a city with a population of roughly 2.7 million people, where the average median age is 34 years old. Approximately 51% of the single population are women, with the other 49% obviously being classified as “men.” With percentages almost at 50/50 WHY IS IT SO HARD TO DATE IN THIS CITY?!? *I tried to find the most depressing single lady at a bar photo as possible.*
Most people wouldn’t think that being 33 was a big deal. There’s a good chance that I make it a big deal out of insecurity? It’s hard not to when the past year has revolved around how old I am for some reason. Maybe it’s because I let myself date again in 2016. After 5 years of being single and focusing on myself I decided it was time to force myself out of my comfort zone. The question, “How old are you?” became common for someone to ask me and rightly so when dating. The responses I get when I tell said person that I’m 33 is what has bothered me so much. The typical responses are: “You don’t look like you’re 33,” or “You look good for 33,” or “I would have guessed you’re around 26 or 27.” I know that those sound like compliments and I should be happy that I apparently look younger than I really am, but I have a hard time not taking it as a bit of an insult. When someone says that I look good for 33 I automatically think, “What am I supposed to look like?” Some haggard old lady that’s been used and hung up to dry? Like one of the chicks from the movie “Taken?” You know which ones I’m talking about. Should I be sitting at home on the weekends with 3 cats, knitting a cardigan? I feel like I need to wear a button on my shirt declaring that I’m in the 30+ club. Like a badge of honor. I’m pretty sure at this point I tell people I’m 33 before they even ask me.
As of late I’ve been hanging out with some pretty awesome people, but they’re all 6+ years younger than me. I’m sure that’s causing some of the age insecurities to rise to the surface. A lot of my friends that are my age are in serious relationships, married and/or have children. It’s difficult being single in that environment. Their priorities are elsewhere. My 20something friends are a blast, but it opens up a whole new can of worms. Guys my age date girls 10 years younger than me. That means us 30something women have the added element of staying as relevant as the chicks in their 20’s. I’m a pretty confident person, but sometimes we can’t help those pesky insecurities from bubbling to the surface.
On the other hand I’ve been killing it in the 25-30 year old male department. I guess it’s that “older woman” fantasy that works in my favor. I’ve learned how to own it. Use it to my advantage. However, the 25-30 year olds won’t be the ones that are in it for the long haul. They are the ones that run for the hills at the mention of anything remotely close to “long term.” God forbid you let on to how much you like them, even if your intentions aren’t for them to stay in the picture 6+ months down the road. It’s built into their DNA to fuck things up for no reason.
This post sounds a lot like me bitching about getting older and to be honest, I am. *insert sad face emoji* I feel like the remainder of my 30something single friends can probably relate to this on some level, though. Bottom line is, don’t tell a girl in her 30’s that she “looks good for her age.” Even if you think it’s a compliment. It’s not. This single chick is about to embark on a new journey in a city of approximately 700K people (in Charleston and the surrounding area). I thought dating with 2.7 million people was difficult……wish me luck!
This is the first of sure to be many posts. I look forward to sharing my fucked up experiences from my past and my fucked up experiences that have yet to happen with you all. Some will be funny, some not so funny, but most of them will be funny. No one likes a Debbie Downer.